How Dove Chocolate Inspired Me to Change My Life

Today some of us were not having the best day at work, so I bought a bag of Dove milk chocolate caramels and shared them around my team.

Dove chocolates have this great campaign where they have little sayings inside the wrapper. The first chocolate I ate said "Dare to love completely." It made me stop, because I've actually been thinking about that a lot. I really don't think that I do that...not just with guys, but with everyone. I love those ladies who call everyone darling and sweetheart...why can't I be one? Then it changed to: why shouldn't I be one? I can be one just as well as anyone else, I just have to work through shyness issues first.

Then I got a chocolate that said "You're gorgeous." And it made me very sad, because that, I think, is an ultimate compliment. Better than hot or sexy, or even beautiful. And I didn't want to hear it from a chocolate wrapper. I wanted to hear it from someone.

Then I imagined some poor morbidly obese girl, watching 80s teen movies and bawling her eyes out while stuffing her face with chocolates, reading the wrappers and believing every word. And how sad, I thought, if she believed the chocolate wrappers and didn't think she had to change herself or work to become better. And what if that girl was me? What if I was unwilling to chnage something I needed to change in order to accomplish my goals and dreams, simply because I don't realize it's a problem?

Then I thought: There are probably tons of other girls who wish someone would tell them they're gorgeous. There are probably tons of guys who need some kind of ego boost as well.

Then: synthesis. If I work to change my shyness by letting people know positive things I notice about them, I will resolve all four of the above problems.

I've made goals loads of times in the past to be better about being friendly to people, complimenting people, smiling, saying hi; you know all those things that people say you should do all the time, because you never know how it could make someone's day or change their life. And it's worked for a while. But I've never quite gotten over that part of my brain that says "don't talk to people you don't trust, and don't trust anyone who hasn't given you years of evidence that they can be trusted." Kind of a road block. Also, I don't really do small talk. I'm socially handicapped in that area.

But this year has been all about stepping out of the swamp and onto higher ground. So here it goes: I'm going to express positive things about everyone around me when I notice something. Because everyone deserves to hear that they're gorgeous in some way, and expressing appreciation is a huge key to loving completely. I'm going to take Dove's advice, and I'm going to live better, and help others live better.

In April's conference, Elder Ballard gave a talk on this very subject: Finding Joy through Loving Service. His points about patiently building up a cache of small services, and small joys, and how evenutally that will overflow and bless your life with the ultmate blessings is the important thing to realize. I think that was my problem for so long...giving one person a compliment each day doesn't seem like it's going to make a difference in anybody's life. But it does, especially the person giving the compliments. And I want to be that person.

So, for those who read this, you're gorgeous. :)

Heroes: Ann and Nancy Wilson

So, a few weeks ago, Jill and I went to see Heart and Def Leppard in concert. It was the third Def Leppard concert we've seen together. But it was Heart that I was really going for. Heart is definitely one of my top three bands of all time (with Muse and Foreigner). And I always worry that I won't get a chance to see my favorite classic rock bands in concert before it's too late, so I always grab the chance.

I've seen a lot of concerts, but something about this one was different. I know a bit about the story of Ann and Nancy Wilson, and I'd been looking forward to seeing them in concert, interacting with each other, observing the sisterly bond. It was there: they complimented each other and talked of the support and talent they'd provided for each other over the years. I found that quite remarkable.

But the thing that really got to me was the courage of their concert. As a concert goes, the lighting was very simple, wardrobe simple, effects practically non-existant. But the energy flow from Ann and Nancy, and their performance - unmatchable. Nancy, a 57-year-old woman, was jumping around on stage during her guitar solos - she did a toe touch in the middle of the intro to "Crazy on You." And Ann...was unbelievable.

Usually in concerts, the songs are a little different from the recordings. Notes held a little longer, a few extra runs thrown in, whatever. But Ann was totally unafraid to mix up the tempo and sing whatever in the world came to her head, and pulled it off completely brilliantly. I wish I had a recording to share. But for example, after the second chorus in "Crazy on You," she slowed down so much, people thought the song was over (I knew better because I'd been waiting for my favorite line which hadn't come yet!). And I already knew she knows how to bust it out...but live, it was mind-blowing busting. She just sang...as though to stop singing meant to die. I felt like her heart, the spirit and the emotions, was tangible through the sound of her voice. I know it absolutely doesn't make sense, but I'm still blown away.

Knowing Ann's history, I thought about the things she must've gone through mentally to become what she is. To be able to stand on that stage and blast the ears and minds of thousands of people...you must have a ton of confidence, or a ton of gumption (probably both).

So I realized something, between "Crazy on You" and "Barracuda" somewhere. What's the point in holding back? Sing, whatever you want, as loud as you can. Do it differently than what people expect. Do it the way it makes you happy. You'll discover your boundaries and limits, and you'll become stronger within them, and gain the ability to stretch them. And no one in the world can rightly scoff at you for passionately pursuing something you legitimately love. It will be hard work, and you'll have to keep trying and keep getting up every day, but when you right the right note with the right power, the whole world will stop and notice. So just keep singing until you get there.

 

Thank you, Ann Wilson (and Nancy cause that toe touch was awesome!).

Inspiration. (Lots and lots of quotes.)

So I meant to blog about Peru, and the Heart concert, before I did this...but I really need to clean out my text inbox. Haha. So, here is a huge slough of awesome quotes (seriously, a ton of these are amazing!).

1. "Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom." - General George Patton
2. "An invasion of armies can be resisted, but not an idea whose time has come." - Victor Hugo
3. "In order to live free and happily you must sacrifice boredom. It is not always an easy sacrifice." - Richard Bach
4. "The supreme happiness in life is the conviction that we are loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves." - Victor Hugo
5. "Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now." - Goethe
6. "If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me." - Alice Roosevelt Longworth
7. "The truth is more important than the facts." - Frank Lloyd Wright
8. "Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within." - James Baldwin
9. "Happiness is the full use of your powers along lines of excellence." - John F. Kennedy
10. "First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win." - Mahatma Gandhi
11. "When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before." - Mae West
12. "Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens." - Jimi Hendrix
13. "How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself." - Anais Nin
14. "Reality is wrong. Dreams are for real." - Tupac Shakur
15. "Whatever you fear most has no power. It is your fear that has the power." - Oprah Winfrey
16. "The greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions and not our circumstances." - Martha Washington
17. "It's fine to celebrate success but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure." - Bill Gates
18. "The greatest glory in living lies not in never failing, but in rising every time we fail." - Nelson Mandela
19. "Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive." - Dalai Lama
20. "Never let the fear of striking out get in your way." - Babe  Ruth
21. "Imagination is more important that knowledge." - Albert Einstein
22. "Happiness does not depend on outward things, but on the way we see them." - Leo Tolstoy
23. "True happiness is not attained through self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose." - Helen Keller
24. "If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun." - Katharine Hepburn
25. "Whether I was in a slump or feeling badly of having trouble off the field, the only thing to do was keep swinging." - Hank Aaron
26. "You'll never do a whole lot unless you're brave enough to try." - Dolly Parton
27. "Both tears and sweat are salty, but they render a different result. Tears will get you sympathy; sweat will get you change." - Jesse Jackson
28. "Our problems are man-made, therefore they may be solved by man. No problem of human destiny is beyond human beings." - John F. Kennedy
29. "Life is not long, and too much of it must not pass in idle deliberation on how it shall be spent." - Samuel Johnson
30. "Cherish all your happy moments; they make a fine cushion for old age." - Christopher Morley
31. "The crisis of yesterday is the joke of tomorrow." - H.G. Wells
32. "He who knows enough is enough will always have enough." - Lao-Tzu
33. "It is one of the beautiful compensations of life that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
34. "Just as appetite comes by eating, so work brings inspiration." - Igor Stravinsky
35. "There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it." - Edith Wharton
36. "Energy creates energy. It is by spending oneself that one becomes rich." - Sarah Bernhardt
37. "Look and you will find it; what is unsought will go undetected." - Sophocles
38. "The world is so rich, simply throbbing with rich treasures, beautiful souls, and interesting people. Forget yourself." - Henry Miller
39. " It is only with the hear that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye." Antoine de Saint-Exupery
40. "A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds." - Francis Bacon
41. "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." - Dr. Seuss
42. "Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend." - Albert Camus
43. "All our dreams come true...if we have the courage to pursue them." - Walt Disney
44. "Action may not always bring happiness, but there is no happiness without action." - Benjamin Disraeli
45. "If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal. Not to people or things." - Albert Einstein
46. "You are never a loser until you quit trying." - Mike Ditka
47. "It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop." - Confucius
48. "Forgiveness is not an occasional act. It is an attitude." - Martin Luther King Jr. 
49. "It is good to have an end to journey towards, but it is the journey that matters, in the end." Ursula LeGuin
50. "How far that little candle throws his beams! So shines a good deed in a weary world." - William Shakespeare
51. "Since you get more joy out of giving to others, put a good deal of thought into the happiness that you are able to give." - Eleanor Roosevelt
52. "Never injure a friend, even in jest." - Marcus Cicero
53. "Please all, and you will end up pleasing none." - Aesop
54. "To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance." - Oscar Wilde
55. "There are only two ways to live your life. One as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." - Albert Einstein
56. "There are no classes in life for beginners: right away you are always asked to deal with what is most difficult." - Rainer Maria Rilke
57. "We've removed the ceiling above our dreams. There are no more impossible dreams." - Jesse Jackson
58. "What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters, compared to what lies within us." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
59. "Of all the things which wisdom provides to make us entirely happy, much the greatest is the possession of friendship." - Epicurus
60. "You cannot dream yourself into a character: you must hammer and forge yourself into one." - Henry David Thoreau
61. "If you'll not settle for anything less than your best, you will be amazed at what you can accomplish in your lives." - Vince Lombardi
62. "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit." - Aristotle
63. "To serve is beautiful, but only if it is done with joy and a whole heart and a free mind." - Pearl Buck
64. "Never apologize for showig feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the truth." - Benjamin Disraeli
65. "Find the ecstasy in life. The mere sense of living can be joy enough." - Emily Dickinson
66. "Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
67. "Energy and persistence conquer all things." - Benjamin Franklin
68. "If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain." - Maya Angelou
69. "It is better to fail in originality than to succeed in imitation." - Herman Melville
70. "Ideas are the beginning of all achievement." - Bruce Lee
71. "We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are." - Anais Nin
72. "If you haven't cried, your eyes cannot be beautiful." - Sophia Loren
73. "Life itself is the proper binge." - Julia Child
74. "Re-examine all that you have been told...and dismiss that which insults your soul." - Walt Whitman
75. "The noblest pleasure is the joy of understanding." - Leoardo da Vinci
76. "A man who dares to waste one hour of time has not discovered the value of life." - Charles Darwin