Final Analysis of the Twilight Saga

So over the past few months, my sister Jill and my dear friend Jill have both been...pressuring...me to watch the Twilight movies. Watch, because they knew reading was beyond the powers of their persuasion. And out of a great act of love, I did. Here's my synopsis:

1. Twilight: Hilariously disgusting.
2. New Moon: Horrific.
3. Eclipse: Hilariously disturbing.
4. Breaking Dawn #1: Unnerving, and yet...decent.
5. Breaking Dawn #2:  Continuously decent, and then hilariously violent.

Now, I could probably write a huge essay detailing why I feel this way. But I will try to be precise. For more details on my views on the despicable morality of Twilight, see here. But for my more optimistic views now that I've seen the whole story, stay right where you're at.

1. Bella and Edward's relationship.

I still think that Edward is just a prettier version of Anakin Skywalker. Super obsessive and creepy. Yeah, I'll be honest. I found that kind of ardent attention attractive (in Anakin), until I dated a guy who gave me that kind of attention. Ladies: it is not exciting or flattering or endearing after about...two days. It is a burden; it causes fear and anxiety in your life. Some women are willing to continue putting up with it. It took Padme's life to do so. I almost did it, too, and thank goodness that path of my life was intervened.

BUT: Once they get married, their relationship changes. Actually, I should say, once they find out Bella's pregnant (don't get me started on the holes in the logic here, such as a 100-year-old vampire having semen) their relationship changes. According to Gary Chapman, author of The Five Love Languages, the "falling in love" sensation lasts about two years. After that, love requires commitment and choice and dedication and all those things that everyone warns you about. Bella and Edward's two years were long up by they time they get married. But the dedication they showed to each other in the face of this huge trial was surprising to me. And then after the "baby" was born, the continued dedication they showed to each other and their daughter was impressive. Yes, impressive. I was impressed. So that was pretty much the most redeeming aspect of the entire series. Bella and Edward were pretty good parents and the message about family unity was undeniably timely.

2. Bella and Jacob's relationship.

Let me put this out there: WHY on earth would you date/marry a creepy-face killer when you could marry an immensely attractive wolf man who completely accepts you for who you are, understands your feelings and your viewpoint, and keeps you warm at night? Done and done.

Clearly if I were on a team, it would be Team Jacob. Yeah, it's not as magnetic or electric or whatever as Bella and Edward's "Chemistry." Well, let me tell you something about chemistry. All reactions reach a point where are the molecules have spent their energy and there is nothing left to react. What lasts forever? True friendship. This is what healthy relationships are based on.

The whole imprint thing still sicks me out.

3. Overall plot arc.

I always thought the idea of a teenager falling in love with a vampire was intriguing. Ever since I read the first book, anyway. Great premise for a story. A government for vampires (thereby establishing a history and depth to their reality)? Brilliant. Arch-enemies in werewolves? Not too creative, but overcoming that for love...that has potential. All of these were poorly executed. But good ideas. Good enough ideas that they do in fact contribute to my resevoir of writing inspiration. The story contributes. Not the writing. And especially not the "no killing my main characters" stuff, and not because of a strong non-violence standpoint like Aang has (The Last Airbender). Am I happy that Fred Weasley died? Heck to the no!! It still hurts my heart to think about it. But am I glad Rowling did it? Yes. It increases my respect for her as a writer, and also in a battle of good vs evil, there has to be casualties, and just because someone loves you, doesn't mean you're safe. However, Twilight was not a story of good vs evil. It wasn't even a story of moral growth or strength. That's probably why the parenthood was my favorite part of the whole thing: because it revealed the most moral character in Bella and Edward (and the whole Cullen family, as well as Jacob). This is a story without archetypes or symbolism. It's sole purpose was to explore the aspects of love, and it doesn't even start on real love until after they get married.

4. Femininity:

I was for a long while appalled at Bella's perturbing setbacks in portraying independent female protagonists (by independent I mean thinking for themselves, making hard choices because it's what's best and not necessarily what they want, having grown-up emotions). But she almost entirely redeemed that with her motherhood. Because motherhood is the pinnacle of femininity.


So there you have it. Now I've seen the whole thing. I didn't hate every minute of it (although there were moments in every movie when I found myself asking "why isn't this over yet?" and I laughed out loud at inappropriate parts of each movie). I found some shiny (or glittering?) beacons of hope in it. But I don't feel the need to ever watch it again. Maybe if I was on lortab. ;)

Avatar: The Last Airbender; Eternal Wisdom #1

So a little while ago I was talking with one of my most favorite people and he said something to me to the effect of "God's paths are straight, but He sure takes you for a crazy ride." I thought to myself, they may be straight, but they definitely go up and down. Then the next day, or maybe the day after, I was studying Alma 7, and verses 9, 19 and 20 stuck out to me:  

•  9 But behold, the Spirit hath said this much unto me, saying: Cry unto this people, saying—^aRepent ye, and prepare the way of the Lord, and walk in his paths, which are straight; for behold, the kingdom of heaven is at hand, and the Son of God ^bcometh upon the face of the earth.
• 19 For I perceive that ye are in the paths of righteousness; I perceive that ye are in the path which leads to the kingdom of God; yea, I perceive that ye are making his ^apaths straight.
•  20 I perceive that it has been made known unto you, by the testimony of his word, that he cannot ^awalk in crooked paths; neither doth he vary from that which he hath said; neither hath he a shadow of turning from the right to the left, or from that which is right to that which is wrong; therefore, his course is one eternal round.

And I thought of the Serpent's Pass episode of Avatar (season 2, episode 12). Team Avatar is trying to make their way to Ba Sing Se, the capital of the Earth Kingdom. In order to get there, they end up having to take what is called the Serpent's Pass. When looking on the map, the Serpent's Pass looks like a very narrow but very straight strip of land across a sea. But when they reach it, it looks like this:

It's straight all right, but has some altitude diversity issues. On the entrance to the Serpent's Pass, there is a post that says "Abandon Hope." But Team Avatar presses forward, because they don't have any other options.

At one point, the path is submerged in water. Until then, the biggest challenges have been climbing up and down the rock without causing a landslide (easy when you've got the greatest earthbender alive travelling with you). This challenge seems a little more daunting, but between an airbender and a waterbender, travelling through the water in a bubble seems like a simple solution. Until the Serpent swims by. Then they realize what trouble they're in. So now the bubble is burst, and Team Avatar needs to find a way to get across the rest of the water, as well as destroy the Serpent's power.

I won't spoil the action for you, but they get safely across and defeat the Serpent. How does this relate to the scriptures/life? Even though the path was straight, it carried them through ups and downs. And at one point, they had to face the serpent in eye and swallow all fear and doubt to conquer him. Sounds like life, does it not?

Straight paths aren't always easy or dangerless. And when we embark on them, we can never abandon hope, or we won't make it across. God wants us to make it across, He wants us to struggle through the climb, and He wants us to face that Serpent and defeat it. :)

Avatar Nerdiness

My sister Sarah sent me this picture, and the following conversation ensued:

Laura: Appa?
Sarah: Nope, Corduroy. That's what will happen if we don't ever shave him.
L: Appa...Corduroy...it's all the same. Corduroy is Appa's reincarnation. :)
S: That's true. Lol.
L: Which means the Avatar can't be far! Maybe it's Camilla!
S: Yes...maybe....No, it's probably Kristan because Camilla isn't an airbender.
L: Well maybe it's an earthbender because dogs like to dig up stuff. The animal companions would go through the same cycle as the Avatars I think.
S: Maybe. And just because he's a sky bison doesn't mean that it's the Avatar's.
L: He's not a sky bison! They are extinct now, and we only have inferior one species animals. Haha. So over hundreds of years the Avatar's animal companion keep reincarnating into lesser animals until it got to Corduroy. Lol
S: Haha touche'.
L: It explains the stranger danger. Watching out for Fire Nation and others who want to disturb the peace.
S: Ahh, yes. What companion is Stacey most like?
L: Some fancy dog that belonged to Toph's family.
S: You mean a flying boar?
Yes, something like that...that's why she gets bored!! Haha, some Sokka humor for you all. :)

And that was the end of that.