Why Glee Has Changed My Life

In light of the death of the actor of one of my most favorite characters on Glee, Cory Monteith, I've decided to finally write the blog that ennumerates why I love Glee, and why I think I needed it in my life. For those of you who are haters, please stop reading now, and I don't want to hear your opinion. Thank you!

1. Glee taught me to stand up for myself. Not in a beat up everyone, bitterly condescending, backstabbing way. In a way that says, "This is who I am. It's not perfect, but I'm doing my best. If you can't appreciate that, then I don't need your negative influence in my life." There are many times on the show that a character feels like they are being oppressed of under-appreciated, but particularly I want to mention Brittany. She is totally overlooked a lot of the time, but she just keeps going, keeps being herself, and doesn't let what other people say or think about her keep her down, and I think that is awesome, and something that I and many people in the world should learn from.       
2. Glee showed me how to forgive and move on. I know it sounds ridiculous, but because of all the drama in the show, people dating people, then cheating on them, or leaving them for someone else, or spreading rumors, or bullying, or shaming, or a great number of horrid things to each other, the characters always manage to sing it out and be ok with each other. When I first started watching the show, I thought, how on earth can he dump that girl and be with another girl right in front of her face and she doesn't try to strangle him? But then I really began to think about it, and decided that my feelings of hurt and revenge were probably pretty extreme, and it took another extreme (because I still don't believe that people could completely forgive each other in such short amounts of time, but they can start the healing immediately) to counterbalance my mentality and bring me into the middle. Forgiveness is essential to human happiness, and we should be forgiving everyone regardless of how they've hurt us. Which leads me to my next point:
3. Glee showed me that everyone has value. It doesn't matter how different you are from someone, or what they've done/been through, or where they are from, or how intelligent or talented they are, every person on this planet has value and something to offer the world. We must remember that and treat everyone in a way that shows we understand they have value including ourselves. You, and everyone around you, has something inside of you that can change the world, so believe in yourself, believe in others, and share your light (talent, love, etc.) with everyone. The characters in Glee are always getting picked on, made fun of, etc., but they come to glee club and know that everyone there is their family, they are safe, and are appreciated. I want to create that kind of environment for anyone that I come in contact with.
4. Glee taught me that love is selfless. This lesson came primarily from Finn (Cory's character). Now, I've been taught this my whole life, but it is another thing to see it played out before you (even if it is a written script and acting). Two occasions I'd like to point out. First, at a high time of bullying for Kurt Hummel, Finn's future step-brother, Finn dresses up like a lobster (Lady Gaga style) and stands up to the football team (of which he is a part) that is harassing Kurt. Finn at that point makes a choice that he loves his friend/step-brother more than he loves his reputation or his team or other friends, and never backs down from that. He never turns his back on Kurt again.  Next, Finn takes his fiancee Rachel to the train station instead of the courthouse on the day they are supposed to get married so she can pursue her dreams of school in New York and Broadway. Enough said there, I will let this video say the rest:

Now for less serious things that Glee gave me.

• The desire to start taking voice lessons again (although that was pretty life-changing)
• A way to get certain friends to listen to amazing classic rock songs!!
• Another wonderful fandom (as if I need more)

That's all. Glee is awesome. I am devastated that my favorite character (and ideal for my future husband, let's be honest) can no longer be a part of the show, but I am grateful for what he gave the world while he was alive. Thanks, Cory.

A Female Thing

I had a really interesting/awesome experience this week.

On Thursday I went to the temple with a couple of friends, as I do every week. This week we decided to go out of our normal zone and to the Mount Timpanogos temple. When I was ~11 I went to the open house of this temple, and thought it was the most beautiful temple I'd seen and was determined to get married there. Only once had I ever returned, to do baptisms. So I was curious if I'd feel the same way when I returned this time, now that I could see the whole temple.

When we walked onto the temple grounds, my heart sang. And by that I mean beat so fast that it sent a sweet vibration through my whole circulatory system. All temples are beautiful, but somehow this one speaks to me in different way. It is not just beautiful, but gorgeous, which sounds weird for a building, but that's just how it is.Somehow the quadrilateral structure combining with feminine curves makes the whole presence of the building delicious to me.

 While inside the temple, I was looking through one of the long tall windows, probably the one that's lit up in the picture. I noticed that the panels were etched with gradually curved lines that look like waves and sand on a beach. There are no real beaches in Utah, so I thought that was interesting. As I kept observing the glass on the window, I couldn't find a real pattern to the curves in the etching. Some were fat, some were close to each other, some were curving up when the one below was curving down, or some were parallel. And I thought...temples are supposed to be perfect. Why is there not a pattern? Why isn't this symmetrical?

Then I realized...since when does perfect = symmetry and symmetry = beauty? It doesn't. In nature, you can find patterns in many plants and even animals, but they are not symmetrical. Most of them follow the Fibonacci sequence, in which each number is added to the previous number in the sequence, starting with 1. So we have 1. Then 1+0 (because there is no previous number)=1. Then 1+1=2. 2+1=3. And so forth. In nature, the numbers of petals on a flower, or spirals in a snail's shell often fall on a Fibonacci number, as well as the ratios of size between sections of a plant or animal.






Not symmetrical, but beautiful. Just like all of us!

I know I've struggled immensely with having a consistently positive self-image, and many women out there do. Men do too, but not nearly as often. Well, women and men, perfection=/=beauty. So find (at least) one thing on you that is beautiful, and cherish it. Soon you'll realize there is more than one. :)

Happy Easter Thoughts

Just going to blog about two really important things in one post. Hopefully it doesn't get out of control.

Last week, on March 27, 2013, I received an acceptance letter from my #1 choice of grad school at Edinburgh Napier University in Edinburgh, Scotland in a Masters of Arts in Screenwriting program. I have researched this school and pondered about actually going to grad school for over a year. It was not a decision I made lightly.

It's a huge decision - the expenses will be paid for almost entirely with loans, so I will be incurring more debt than I've ever had. I will be moving to a foreign country - alone this time - to live - alone - for a year. I will be completely on my own when it comes to everything I need to do to survive, from eating to writing a full length feature film. Some of it will be easy, because some of it I've done before. Some of it won't be, because there are some things I will have to do that I've never done on my own before, or I've always had a fail safe Plan B for.

The feelings I felt knowing that I was in the program, and that I was doing what I was supposed to be doing - what I feel like I was made to do - were astronomical. It really was too much for my body to comprehend. Then of course, there trickled in the gravity of what I was really doing. I was consciously taking my whole life, and hefting it into a higher plane of existence. A place that I hadn't known it would go. And that was followed with doubt - how am I going to pay for it? What if the loans don't cover enough and I don't save/earn enough, and I end up homeless in Scotland, or worse, have to leave? What if I don't have the talent it takes to get a career, or even a job, from this degree? What if I fail my classes? What if I get kidnapped? Each doubt more irrational than the one before (cause we all know I'd never get kidnapped - I'd kick their trash before they could take me).

I was battling these feelings - all the while still knowing that this was the right path for me to take - this morning. And then I began to remember this:


Of course because today is Easter, but in my stake, we've had the privilege of studying about the Atonement all month with this amazing 30-day study guide: http://atonementofjesuschrist.blogspot.com/.

And I combined what I'd learned from studying about the Atonement into what is going on in my life right now. What I learned was:

1. Heavenly Father loves me, and each of us, so much that He sent His Only Begotten Son to stuffer every pain imaginable (physical, emotional, and spiritual) so that we would never have to be alone and we could always receive strength from Jesus Christ.
2. Jesus Christ also paid the price for every sin ever committed on this earth, and if we accept that payment (by obedience and our own sacrifices), we can return to live with Heavenly Father and Jesus in glory forever.
3. We only need to call on our Father and Brother to receive the help and strength we need. We should talk to them all the time, really, because having a closer relationship with them makes everything in our lives happier and easier.

Well, here I am, desperately needing help, and with this beautiful knowledge that it is there, waiting for me to take it.

It's still scary, but I know I am doing what I am supposed to be doing. I also know that the Lord will provide for me to grow to the capacity I need to be at to handle the challenges, as well as provide solutions to the challenges I will face...for the rest of my life.

I never would have made it this far without Him, but also wouldn't have made it without a few other people/experiences:

1. Obviously my parents, as well as all my sisters, who have been in examples to me in ways they probably don't even realize.
2. BYU-Idaho, where I realized my passions and purpose, and also learned how to be my own woman and truly find joy in life. As well as meet my two best friends, Diana Toronto and Kristen Cox, and Stephanie Palmer who introduced to me the idea of going to grad school in the UK (and is also a wonderful friend).
3. Living in Germany, which taught me that I am smart and capable, and I can stand on my own two feet without falling. I also made many new best friends there who taught me how to love (Miriam Blanchette), work hard (Hiu Tung Hung), and be patient (Kurt Thatcher).
4. Living in Draper, which has helped me refine so many edges of my personality that I feel like I'm a completely different person because of what I've learned here. I am so grateful for a bishop who challenges me to be more than what I have become. Also so grateful for my other best friend Jill Christensen who has rocked my world into epicness, and Andrew Clark and Jenna Bowman who probably have no idea what a stellar influence they've had on me. :)
5. The opportunity I've had to go to the temple and learn about Heavenly Father's plan for me and all of us. The knowledge I have gained there is more precious than any knowledge I will ever get from school. Also thanks to Rachel Fisihetau, Candace Larsen, and Stephanie Palmer for getting me to go regularly and keeping me going regularly.

I know that I am watched over and loved by a Father in Heaven who knows every bit of me. I am grateful to know of His amazing plan that allows me to return to Him and reach my full potential. I am excited to live His plan and do amazing things with my life (even if I don't know how it will happen!).